but I’m now officially twenty years old.
Two-zero. 20.
It’s strangely indescribable of how it feels to know I’m no longer a teenager. My innocence is now regarded as ignorance. My mistakes now face a far more grave consequence and now even more is expected out of me, as if my family doesn’t put enough pressure on me for being the “able” one in my family.
My age hasn’t had a “2” in it in 7 years. This is just mind-boggling. I miss my childhood and my toys and my silliness (still hasn’t fully gone away) and the ability to make mistakes and have an insured second chance and the lack of knowledge about things I really wish I didn’t know. I even miss my father. I just found out today he lost his job and even though he threw me out of my house for the reason he did, I love him and I’ve forgiven him because that is what God would want me to do. And for that, I will reach out to my dad if I must and that is the right thing to do.
I guess I do somewhat appreciate my ability to forgive and to continue to forgive. Thanks God, I couldn’t have asked for a better birthday present.
